Many of us build walls around ourselves, thinking we’re protecting our feelings and maintaining control. But what we often fail to realize is that these walls, designed for self-preservation, can also trap us within, blocking both pain and joy from entering our lives. So where should the balance lie, and is there a better way?
People who build these walls justify their actions as a means of self-protection, often driven by past pain and trauma. The fear of suffering can push some to take extreme measures. I recently watched a show called Shōgun, based on the novel by James Clavell, which introduced me to a concept known as the “eightfold fence.” This ancient idea, rooted in Japanese culture, plays a significant role in the story.
“Eight clouds arise. The eightfold fence of Idzumo makes an eightfold fence for the spouses to retire [within]. Oh! that eightfold fence.”
— Kojiki, Records of Ancient Matters (AD 712)
The Eightfold Fence
The idea of the “eightfold fence” mirrors the walls people construct around themselves, but in an extreme and more complicated form. This concept likely gained traction during Japan’s tumultuous civil wars in the 16th century, when constant upheaval led people to seek psychological refuge. By compartmentalizing their thoughts, emotions, and identities, they created an impenetrable fortress within their own minds. This allowed them to retain their individuality and control even amidst chaos. One could smile in public while hiding their true emotions behind the layers of this mental fence.
The Price of Building Walls
While the eightfold fence may have offered a sense of safety during turbulent times, it comes at a high cost. It traps individuals within its own walls, creating a psychological prison. Suppressing emotions and distancing oneself from others can lead to long-term mental health issues and a lack of emotional connection. The very walls built to avoid pain end up causing greater stress, anxiety, and emotional vulnerability over time. These walls steal emotional resilience, leaving a person more exposed than before.
A Better Way Forward
The futility of constructing such protective barriers is becoming clear to many. A healthier approach involves accepting the outside world as it is, rather than trying to control or shield oneself from it. Learning to flow with life, rather than fight against it, may take time, but the results are well worth the effort.
I, too, have attempted to build metaphorical walls in the past for self-protection, but I soon realized their futility. The sooner you acknowledge this, the sooner you can begin your journey toward freeing yourself from the self-imposed prison of isolation and emotional detachment.
Leave a Reply